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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29476176">Something Different</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/VanillaMostly/pseuds/VanillaMostly'>VanillaMostly</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Firefly</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Canon Compliant, Character study (sort of), Gen, Pre-Canon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 22:09:20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,122</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29476176</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/VanillaMostly/pseuds/VanillaMostly</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Inara muses on her life aboard Serenity.<br/>Set pre-series.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Malcolm Reynolds/Inara Serra</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Something Different</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>another thing i wrote ages ago but was left unfinished. until now lmao. it's been a while since i watched the show but do i remember the frustrating relationship that is inara and the captain! just kiss each other already!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1"> </p>
<p class="p1"> </p>
<p class="p1">Life on Serenity is nothing like where she’s been before, but she doesn’t particularly dislike it. The harder and rougher lifestyle is of course an adjustment, initially, but she grows used to that. It’s a trade-off. In place of finery, in place of rich and creamy foods, bubble baths and maidservants, she gets the entire universe right outside her red velvet curtains, at her fingertips practically. Only where she goes and when she goes isn’t completely up to her, she’ll find out, but she likes feeling it’s <em>possible.</em></p>
<p class="p1">At first she means to keep to herself - back on the planet, the company she keeps consists of her clients and fellow Companions and not much of anyone else. Nobody outside the Companion world ever really understands the profession, and anyway, there’s no need to form relationships with them.</p>
<p class="p1">But that’s quite hard to do on a ship the size of Serenity. Especially hard with someone like Kaylee, all sweetness and laughs, peppering her with questions about her work and her clothes and her makeup, first shyly then eventually without any reservation. Inara doesn’t mind, though. She likes Kaylee; who wouldn’t? It’s kind of like having a sister again, like when she was living at the training house. She can tell that Kaylee likes it too, looks up to her, admires her. “Oh, that sounds so <em>nice!</em>” Kaylee would say, stars practically glowing from her eyes, when Inara tells her something from her life. It really isn’t all that nice, Inara almost wants to say, but she holds back. Let the girl dream, she deserves to.</p>
<p class="p1">There’s another woman on the ship, but she’s not as easy to get close to, which suits Inara fine. Her first impression of Zoe is that she’s a little intimidating, with her intense stares and the gleam of a pistol hanging at her hip. But then Inara catches Zoe with her husband, the pilot they call Wash, and it’s like a different woman standing in her place. Inara watches the two of them sometimes, Zoe and Wash, and she can’t help but smile. Zoe catches her watching once and to Inara’s surprise, she smiles back.</p>
<p class="p1">No one ever formally explains to her the exact nature of the “businesses” the ship frequents in, but she intuits it as much. Why else would they require a man like Jayne? She first writes him off as the typical brawny simpleton, and expects no shortage of verbal harassment and intrusions into her shuttle from him, but actually, Jayne’s not much trouble. Most of the macho crudeness has no real punch, and he backs down easily with one leveled glare. No, Jayne’s not the problem.</p>
<p class="p1">She should have known it’d be Malcom Reynolds.</p>
<p class="p1">From the first day she met him, she got the sense that the captain is… challenging. Or perhaps the better way to put it is he enjoys<em> being</em> challenged. She’s not sure if he’s all that right in the head, in fact. She’s never seen a man get so excited when a deal goes wrong, when they’re half a hair’s width from danger and maybe imminent death. Call him stupid, he’s certainly not. Call him brave, it seems unwise to condone this kind of behavior. Inara learns he served in the war before, one of the browncoats. She can’t imagine how he didn’t get himself killed.</p>
<p class="p1">To be fair, though, he’s good at what he does - being the captain, calling the shots, getting himself and the crew out of whatever mishaps that ensue. Maybe that’s why Zoe trusts him with her life; Kaylee adores him; Wash might be a little jealous of him, and Jayne is most definitely a little afraid of him. Which then might be why he singles her out… among other reasons. Inara’s the only one who doesn’t treat him like a captain. (She suspects he enjoys that, honestly.)</p>
<p class="p1">She can sense sometimes that there’s something deeper - when he mocks her profession, when he throws hurtful words in her direction, he really isn’t doing it out of malice. It’s almost as if it’s not <em>her </em>he truly has a problem with. It’s her status and who she represents.</p>
<p class="p1">It’s the difference between <em>her </em>world and <em>his </em>and what that represents.</p>
<p class="p1">Even though she knows this, she can’t help but give exactly what he wants: she retaliates, she rises to her feet - despite the obvious height disadvantage - and barbed words are leaving her mouth without her usual restraint. And to tell the truth this is what bothers her, more than the presence of him. Inara has always been a one-woman operation, with no real attachments to anyone in her life, certainly not to any man. For someone to really get under her skin - that means she has to let them.</p>
<p class="p1">That means she has to care.</p>
<p class="p1">She knows he’s sorry when once, after an intense fight, she doesn’t quite hold back her tears in time. She knows - she can sense him reaching for her when she turns her back. She knows all she has to do is turn around, and he might hold her.</p>
<p class="p1">It isn’t the first time she thinks about it.</p>
<p class="p1">But in the end, both of them are equally stubborn, both of them equally proud, and neither is willing to give in.</p>
<p class="p1">So the captain drops his hand; so Inara walks away, not looking back. And the next time they see each other, maybe there’s enough remorse to keep them civil, but only for several minutes before somebody’s tongue gets the better of them.</p>
<p class="p1">Inara grows used to it, like she does with the other aspects of her new Serenity life.</p>
<p class="p1">Her Companion friends, the few that she keeps in touch with, become puzzled with Inara’s choices. They indulged her in the beginning, figuring she just wants to experience something new and fresh, like a little vacation from a dull life. They’re surprised when she turns down one offer after another to return to their planet - or any planet - and the “vacation” is starting to look more like a lifestyle.</p>
<p class="p1">“You can’t mean you plan on staying on that ship <em>forever</em>?” One of them asks, looking scandalized.</p>
<p class="p1">Inara just smiles at the screen.</p>
<p class="p1">She thinks of dinner that night - Kaylee having convinced Inara to join the crew at the table, for something rare but nice must have occurred for there to be a better feast than they have seen in ages. In the middle of passing dishes, the captain and Wash arguing, Kaylee happily chattering, Jayne trying to sneak an extra piece of <em>bao </em>bun and Zoe slapping his hand away… Inara has never felt so…</p>
<p class="p1">At home.</p>
<p class="p1">Who can ever say forever? But Inara has a feeling she will not be leaving anytime soon.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
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